Lil Miss Cleverpants

I know I primarily said this blog was about my Uber rides, but I have to go on a tangent and tell you about what happened at home last night!

So I was putting my 6yr old daughter Paetynbto bed and we talked a bit, had ourselves the wildest time!

First we got into a deep conversation about our fears. She asked me papi what are you most afraid of? “Losing you.”

She paused, then smiled.

“I’m afraid of spiders, snakes and wolves…” She goes on to list about 20 other things she was afraid of.

Then the hiccups came. So we spent a good 20 min trying to get rid of them. Scare tactics,tickling, holding her breath. Nothing seemed to work. Not exactly sure how but eventually they went away.

Now with the hiccups gone I said “Remember I have to get up at 3 in the morning for work so let’s settle down.” She said she couldn’t.

Then I got a brilliant idea! I said “Pae here’s what I listen to when I’m trying to relax. I played some meditation music. She said “I don’t like this. It doesn’t sound good coming into my head!”

“Thats because your don’t know how to relax. Let me show you.

First I go feet go to sleep, legs go to sleep, tummy go to sleep, etc til I got up to the head.”

She told me to repeat the process and this time she’ll nod when she’s said it to herself. So we went through it again. Feet go to sleep… Nod. Legs go to sleep… Nod. Tummy go to sleep… She paused… Then nodded. Whew! That was a tough one!

All the way to the head. The nods faded away, and she was snoring in less than 2 min!

I was like holy shit! Did I just find the Holy Grail to getting children to sleep?! The song wasn’t even 1/2 over!! I prided my discovery. How could I monetize this I pondered.

Then it hit me. Now she’s asleep… But I’m still awake! Shit!

Ok now to fall asleep for real. Started walking myself through the steps. Feet go to sleep… Legs go to sleep.. down the list.. as I begin to fade away off in the distance I can hear my son’s pet turtle Michelangelo scuttling across his glass cage. Just then I thought, I wonder if walking on that glass is like walking on ice? Mikey needs some grip. He’s got to be….

Someone was tapping me on the arm… I open my eyes to find Paetyn starting at me eyes wide open almost surprised to find me still awake!

Quickly regaining her composure she says I heard something. Clever.

It was just the turtle..

She was surprised “I thought you’d be asleep by now..”

Wait what?!

Were you just pretending to be asleep?!

She grinned.


This kid was clever. I’ll give her that.

Author: RideZilla

I drive for Uber and Lyft and created this site to log my experiences on the road

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