The Greatest Wedding Proposal That Could’ve Been Greater

This story is epic! It begins at Stanford University where I picked up Rashni. She told me an incredible story about how her husband Satish proposed to her.

Now they had been dating for about a year and a half when Satish suggested they take a road trip up to San Francisco. It was a perfect day, not a cloud in the sky.

On the 280 freeway he tells her he has to stop to take a leak. He gets off at the CA-1 headed toward Half Moon Bay. For those not from the Bay Area this road is a 14 mile bypass around a moutainous valley of sharp twists and turns, a minimum 30min drive. And that’s without traffic!

I imagine at some point Rashni had to have thought “My God this is quite a detour for a pee! I see plenty of bushes that could do the job.”

Satish said he’d found a hotel that surely had a restroom. He plugged in the directions, it was 3 miles away. As they drove they passed a McDonald’s, a Safeway and a host of other shops. Not to mention countless bushes and shrubs. Still Rashni was none the wiser.

She attributed the random route to Satish’s stubbornness. Once he made up his mind about something, there was no changing it.

Eventually, they got to the hotel. After Satish “relieves himself,” he suggests they walk around a bit as traffic would be bad at this time.

He takes her out to the balcony. A perfect view of the ocean. The sun is setting over Pillars Point leaving a beautiful amber hue as the backdrop. His timing was perfect!

Dropping to one knee he pops the question. “Rashni will you marry me?” Through a telescopic lens, Satish’s friend captures the entire event from an adjacent balcony.

I was so impressed by the level of detail he put into planning his proposal. I asked what was the ring like? She said “What ring?” Tires screeched as I slammed on the breaks. What?! HE HAD NO RING?!

Didn’t want to tip her off he says. BS… I say. The ring is one of the most critical components of the proposal! It’s the cherry on the sundae!

And every man who has proposed in the past has to figure out how to determine his future wife’s ring size without tipping her off.

You find a way.

You figure it out.

It’s part of the process!

Part of the fun!

If you can’t figure it out, you do something, anything, hell, even a ring pop will do! But in my opinion, what you don’t do is show up empty handed!

Lil Miss Cleverpants

I know I primarily said this blog was about my Uber rides, but I have to go on a tangent and tell you about what happened at home last night!

So I was putting my 6yr old daughter Paetynbto bed and we talked a bit, had ourselves the wildest time!

First we got into a deep conversation about our fears. She asked me papi what are you most afraid of? “Losing you.”

She paused, then smiled.

“I’m afraid of spiders, snakes and wolves…” She goes on to list about 20 other things she was afraid of.

Then the hiccups came. So we spent a good 20 min trying to get rid of them. Scare tactics,tickling, holding her breath. Nothing seemed to work. Not exactly sure how but eventually they went away.

Now with the hiccups gone I said “Remember I have to get up at 3 in the morning for work so let’s settle down.” She said she couldn’t.

Then I got a brilliant idea! I said “Pae here’s what I listen to when I’m trying to relax. I played some meditation music. She said “I don’t like this. It doesn’t sound good coming into my head!”

“Thats because your don’t know how to relax. Let me show you.

First I go feet go to sleep, legs go to sleep, tummy go to sleep, etc til I got up to the head.”

She told me to repeat the process and this time she’ll nod when she’s said it to herself. So we went through it again. Feet go to sleep… Nod. Legs go to sleep… Nod. Tummy go to sleep… She paused… Then nodded. Whew! That was a tough one!

All the way to the head. The nods faded away, and she was snoring in less than 2 min!

I was like holy shit! Did I just find the Holy Grail to getting children to sleep?! The song wasn’t even 1/2 over!! I prided my discovery. How could I monetize this I pondered.

Then it hit me. Now she’s asleep… But I’m still awake! Shit!

Ok now to fall asleep for real. Started walking myself through the steps. Feet go to sleep… Legs go to sleep.. down the list.. as I begin to fade away off in the distance I can hear my son’s pet turtle Michelangelo scuttling across his glass cage. Just then I thought, I wonder if walking on that glass is like walking on ice? Mikey needs some grip. He’s got to be….

Someone was tapping me on the arm… I open my eyes to find Paetyn starting at me eyes wide open almost surprised to find me still awake!

Quickly regaining her composure she says I heard something. Clever.

It was just the turtle..

She was surprised “I thought you’d be asleep by now..”

Wait what?!

Were you just pretending to be asleep?!

She grinned.

Genius!

This kid was clever. I’ll give her that.

Lethal Lyft Line

Uber pool and Lyft Line have created a perfect recipe for interesting and odd situations to occur. When you throw total strangers into a car anything can happen. One one extreme I heard of a time where two people met and hooked up after meeting during a pool. On the other hand when you get a group of drunk strangers into a pool it can go in a completely different direction. This is memoir of one of those times.

So there was an Asian, an Israeli, and and an Irish guy (I know sounds like the beginning of a truly tasteless joke)

Let me explain. I accepted a Lyft line ride around 3am New Years Day. In hops Asian combo girl and Israeli drunken master. Conversation starts off normal like any ride. Asian combo girl was chatty. Israeli drunken master kinda faded out on the conversation after his initial pleasantries. Asian combo girl wanted to know if she could add a stop and drop Israeli drunken master off at his house. Nay nay.

I explained there is no way to update the destination on a pooled ride. She said it shouldn’t be a problem as it was “on the way”. Again.. Nay nay.

Besides I just got a ping to pick up another rider. We pick up Irish thug guy who also was sufficiently intoxicated judging by the fact he bumped into the car apparently trying to get in before he actually had the door opened!

Now this bloke had a can of something in his hand which I asked if it was beer and if so could he withhold from opening and/or drinking for the duration of the ride. He claimed it wasn’t beer. But as I was driving on his second swig, I side glanced and saw it was a can of Coors Light.

This muthafucka.

I immediately pulled over.

I don’t think so!

Homey don’t play that!

He relented and tossed the can out the window. Ok now, we’re cool.

Now Asian combo girl resumed her drunken Israeli guy detour campaign.

While she insisted the detour was “on the way” Irish thug guy saw it differently. He said the detour was in the opposite direction.

Then they started arguing about who knew the their way around the city better. Things started escalating so I quickly defused the situation by directing the conversation to current events.

Turns out, Asian combo girl was a current student at Stanford working on a combined degree in civil engineering. Combined? That’s when a student takes classes to obtain a bachelor’s and masters degree simultaneously. (Hence the Asian combo girl nickname)

She said she had a 10 year hiatus from college after dropping out of Stanford her freshman year. She traveled the world to engage in every nefarious activity a woman can do. Even porn? Ok, everything except porn.

She said she came from a “priveleged” family. Umm… Ok. Despite her family’s ridiculous wealth she like all of us had a troubled childhood. She used “no one raised her” as a metaphor to describe her parents lack of attention/interest to her, her education, and interests growing up. I guess it’s true, money can’t buy you happiness. Despite being rich, she was still neglected and robbed of her basic human needs to be loved, adored, and valued.

As she’s sharing her story I can hear Irish thug guy interjecting with unintelligible comments which were either some form of Galic or Irish ebonics.

Meanwhile drunken Israeli guy who up until that point I thought was dead, pipes in with words so slurred I couldn’t be sure if he was actually talking or gasping for air.

But when Irish thug guy started belittling Asian combo girl for her worldly ways he sprang to life to defend her honor. That’s when shit got real! Out of nowhere Irish thug guy says “If you fucking touch me again I’m going to thump you!”

Wait! What?

The poor guy was drunk out of his mind and probably touched Irish thug guy accidentally trying to catch his balance. Up until a moment ago he’d been leaning forward with his head on the back of the front seat in an apparent attempt to stop the world from spinning!

I’m like ok let’s all calm down! Can’t we all just get along? All of a sudden it hit me. This is just like being a normal day in the car with my kids! “Ok you sit back in your seat and keep your hands to yourself.”

“You. Move your seat forward, stop antagonizing and dammit watch your language!” Bout to put these grown folks in time out!

Luckily everyone got to their destination unscathed despite the snide remarks they occasionally made towards eachother. We tried dropping off Israeli drunken master a few blocks from his house but the tremendous incline of the San Francisco sidewalks proved too much for him so we brought him back into the car and he just went home with Asian combo girl. Truly this ride takes the cake as one of the most bizarre rides I’ve had to date!

Carma for short

Ever heard of car karma? It’s the essence of good will coming back to you on the road as a result of showing good will while on the road. Slowing down to let a car merge, letting a car turn in front of you even though you have the right of way, etc. As a driver for Uber and Lyft, it’s always my goal to provide an outstanding experience whether a rider is in my car for 2 min or 20. I always try and go that extra mile too. I’m a firm believer of paying it forward. It’s amazing how these things have a way of coming back around.

I’ll give you my most recent experience. Couple weeks back I received a request from a Roberto. I arrived at a hotel in Morgan Hill looking for a Roberto only find a Lisa. Roberto worked at the hotel and was kind enough to call an Uber on behalf of Lisa as she was dropped off to the wrong hotel by a taxi. Her reservation was at a hotel with the same name only in downtown San Jose! She had come down from Oakland to purchase a car from a local dealership.

As if that wasn’t enough, the purchase of the car went south at the dealership leaving her with no means to get home. Her destination was the Caltrain station which didn’t have northbound train arriving for another 45min.

At the time I arrived at the train station it was dark, cold, and creepy. This lady had already been down on her luck striking out at the dealership and then the hotel. She carried a can of wasp spray in her hand, indicating fear of someone or something I knew it would be a long 45min.

I don’t know what compelled me but I had compassion on her… She needed a win. So I offered her a ride to the correct hotel as it happened to be in the direction I was going to Uber for that night. After dropping her off, I went on about my night thinking nothing more about it.

A couple nights later, again in Morgan Hill, I responded to a call to pick up Bill from the GVA Cafe on Monterey and 2nd St, a waitress flagged me down and anxiously shoved a drunk couple into my car. Not 2 min later, my cell phone rings… It was Bill! Evidently he was having an out of body experience, as his app showed he had been picked up but somehow he was still standing on the curb!

Silently cursing the waitress, I apologized for the mix up and asked him to cancel the ride. And I would ensure he got credit for the charge. I then explained to the current passengers about the mix up. They asked if I would mind taking them home anyway since they were only a couple miles away. No problem. But understand that I wasn’t getting any credit for it. Tip love would be appreciated.

4 min later after driving up a mile long driveway I pull up to this enormous house, easily 20 sq ft shy of a mansion! As I’m helping them out of the car, the husband hands me a $100 bill! I said “This will get you up the stairs, into your pj’s, and tucked into bed, but your a little short if you’re looking for anything else!” He laughed. His wife frowned. I drove away.

Now these two situations viewed separately, seem to have nothing to do with one another. However if you look at them in parallel could they be a coincidence? Karma? Angels at work? Luck? You Decide…

Now lets look at it the other way… on Dec 7th, I got into 2 accidents on the same day! Both hit and runs! With no uninsured motorist coverage, my damages will have to come out of my collision coverage subject to a $1000 deductible. Plus I’ll get a point on my insurance raising my premiums for the next 3yrs! I got me to thinking back to cars I cut off, times that I sped up not allowing people to merge. Could this be karma working against me?Again you decide…