On behalf of all Uber and Lyft drivers I wanted to thank all riders for your business on New Years Eve!
It was a crazy night but thankfully no one yacked in my car! A few of you I thought for sure would. Like my boy Malik, who I swear could’ve been DJ Khaled’s body double!
As I arrived at the pick up spot around 2am, I glanced in my rearview and noticed a couple approaching. Newlyweds. I judged, by the way they were walking arm in arm in that euphoric state. She stumbled. Nope. Not newlyweds, they weren’t hugging. He was holding her up! “Shit.
“I won’t throw up in your car I promise!” She said in a thick drunk accent. “And if she does, I got you.” Malik said. “I run a carpet cleaning business!” Oh goody! Do you guys have emergency roadside assistance? Cause if she yacks I can’t be waiting until Tuesday to be made whole!
“I’m not going to throw up! I swear!” She reiterates… (Did she just say that in Arabic?!) Even still, could you stick your face in this yak sak?
Now Malik was cool and he was a straight hustler. As we come up on his destination, (which turned out to be Mcdonalds) Malik turns to me and says “Hey are you hungry, let me buy you dinner.” As if the idea just popped into his head. Bro, you knew only the drive-thru was open after 2am. This n**ga.
Still. A free meal doesn’t sound bad. Then I looked at the line of cars in the drive thru. It went clear out the parking lot! Sorry bro. Appreciate the offer. but I gotta make that money. Skurt! Skurt!
The earlier it got the more interesting the rides became. Almost had a couple of Lyft line passengers get into a fight!see Lethal Lyft Line
My final ride was quite humorous though. This guy met a girl in a bar in San Francisco. They hit it off and she invited him back to her place… In Oakland!
To avoid surge pricing they hopped on BART yellow line which was offering free services from 8pm-5am. Well, evidently they fell asleep! They went all the way to the end of the line in Bay Pointe! To add insult to injury the train was shut down and they got locked in!
Frantically they went from car to car checking all the doors even passing by another fella who succomed to fatigue. (Oddly, they didn’t wake him up). Eventually they got out as luck would have it there were still some workers at the station. I asked him if his night ended on a good note. It did. Well then… All’s well that ends well! Happy New Year!